Well ladies and gents we are officially 19 days into the new year, which means that it is about time to start breaking all of those New Years resolutions. Personally, I never make New Years resolutions — I opt to continually improve upon myself throughout the year as opposed to setting one arbitrary goal that is too easy to toss aside during the first few weeks of the year. With that being said, I want to encourage you to take some time over the next few weeks to evaluate whether there is something holding you back that you need to DUMP!

Last year, I undertook this same exercise, which ultimately resulted in me quitting my job at a major international law firm. See, I had accomplished what most people aspire to — a great career, six-figure salary at a stable company and all before the age of 30; despite all of that, I was miserable and after four years of misery, I simply could not take it anymore. Therefore, I decided to take the time to figure out why I was staying at a job that made me so unhappy and to determine exactly what was holding me back. I spent a year reevaluating my priorities, altering my behaviors and learning to embrace change and the unknown. By the end of that year, I had a plan and hope.

I am happy to say that now I walk around happy and joyful every day. Now, that does not mean my life is perfect or that I do not still have problems, it just means that I have an inner happiness and an inner peace that dwells in me and guides me every single day. And, while my chosen course of action was right for me, you will need to determine what is right for your particular circumstances.

Therefore, assuming you have a job that is holding you back, stealing your hope, happiness and joy, I want to share with you five steps that you can take that will help you DUMP what is holding you back:

Step 1: Release Fear

Fear serves one of two purposes — it can either help you or hurt you. If you are in a job that is making you miserable or destroying your life, then your fear is hurting you. The first thing you need to do is ask yourself “what do I fear?” Do you fear failure, disappointing others, or a decrease in income? Do you fear that you are not living up to your own expectations — are you asking yourself “what is wrong with me,” “why can’t I do this,” or “maybe I just need to try harder?”  Now ask yourself this, is it possible that you have rooted your identity in your job, title, or label or in maintaining a position, image or status? If so, then your fear is likely tied to the fact that you have rooted your identity in the wrong thing — you have given your job, title, position or status a place of authority in your life that it simply does not deserve and you are now too afraid to let it go.

Your identity is not found in any job, title, label, position, image or status. You deserve to live a happy, fulfilling life and you need to decide that you are simply not going to base your identity in your job, title, position, status or anything else! If you are not doing something that you love and your job is costing you relationships, then why on earth should you continue to do it? Is this how you imagined your life when you were a kid? If not, then separate your identity from what is holding you back.

Remember, the opposite of fear is love and with love comes freedom. Do you want to live by fear or do you want a life that you love? You are going to be okay so do not ignore the promptings you feel — choose to not just release but conquer fear.

Step 2: Redefine Your Identity

Since your identity has been wrapped up in your job, label, or status etc. for so long, there is a good chance you have forgotten who you are. So you need to take some time and conduct a little “me thinking.” You need to define your values, strengths and skills. I recommend you start by asking your friends, family and co-workers a simple question – what do you think I am good at? Also, think about what comes easily to you and what you enjoy doing outside of work. What do you do that causes you to lose all sense of time? What do you enjoy? What do you not like? When you get to the end of your life, what would you regret not doing? Your goal should be to write down at least 5 values, 5 strengths and 5 skills, although I am sure you can think of more. Spend at least a week compiling your list of values, strengths and skills. It is imperative that you change your perspective so do not take this task lightly.

Step 3: Change Your Routine and Do Something Different

Once armed with your values, skills and strengths you need to go out and start using your skills and strengths in an environment that embraces similar values. You need to get yourself out of your current routine and the easiest way to do that is to find a volunteer activity or start a hobby that makes use of your strengths and skills. Volunteering with an organization or serving on a nonprofit board can be a great way to develop new skills that you might need in your new career. If you already have a hobby that you enjoy, consider devoting more time to it. You might even try to make money with your hobby by sharing your knowledge on a blog or selling your products on Etsy. Feel free to change activities or hobbies as you wish because the goal is for you to find something you love.

You should also talk to people who are working in fields that interest you. Update your resume and start sharing it with people you trust. Join professional organizations that interest you or attend events frequented by those operating in the fields that most interest you. Surround yourself with the type of people that you think you want to work with. Expand your network and have fun while doing it. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but do not give up; embrace the awkward and keep going. The goal is to create possibilities for yourself so that you can begin to live the life you want to live.

In order to devote more time to building the life you really want to live you might have to scale back at your job or with other commitments; that is okay. Set a few goals by deciding you will make a certain number of connections each week. This is the relationship building/networking phase so enjoy!

Step 4: Develop a Support System

I will be frank, it can be easy to lose motivation and slip back into your old situation. Therefore, in order to keep your energy up and not allow the momentum of life to disrupt you from achieving your goal, you need to develop a strong support system. Your support system will likely consist of family and friends, but you might find it easier to talk with a counselor or mentor. The goal is to surround yourself with wise counsel; people that will support you in your journey and help you push through when you become discouraged. You might also consider developing your own mantra or trying meditation — anything that will help keep your spirits high. Remember, battles are usually won or lost with your thoughts so maintaining positive thoughts will help you maintain a positive attitude.

Now, some people are not going to understand what you are doing. If you currently have a career that society holds in high-esteem, such as doctor or lawyer, most people will think you are crazy for wanting to leave. Why? Because by society’s standards you have achieved the American dream. Well, your response is an easy one — forget the American dream. Focus on your dream! No one else has to go to your job each day and no one understands how you feel. Therefore, just develop a few deflection tactics and quick responses to use when confronted with the questions of others. See, the people who are shocked by your desire to move careers are dealing with their own fears — the same fears that you have already let go. Do not let the fears of others dictate your actions. Instead, rely on your support system and seek the encouragement of those that care about you.

Step 5: Embrace Adventure

Eventually, you will reach the point where you must make your move. In order to ensure you make that move, set an exit date for your current job and do not let it pass you by. Continue expanding your network, trying new activities, and interviewing. Remember, you want to work at a job where you can achieve your greatness. Do not be one of those people that says “I will be happy once I achieve/have x.” Instead, make the decision to be happy now. Life is about the journey not the destination so accumulate experiences and create your moments.

Another thing to keep in mind — you are never too old to make a change. Life is too short. If you assume you have 80 years on this earth, why should you spend 20 or 30 years unhappy? Making a change may not be the easiest thing you have ever done, but the best things never are.

Finally, resist the urge to compare yourself to anyone else. Your path does not have to be the same (nor should it be the same) as anyone else’s path. Choose something different, choose what is right for you, choose your adventure and have fun while doing it.