My Mood
I think we’ve all seen those articles titled “10 things you shouldn’t wear if you’re [fill in the blank].” For some websites, most of their articles are focused on telling us what we can/cannot wear or what we should/should not do. While that might be helpful sometimes, I really do not like blanket over generalizations, especially when they are applied to me. As we age, we all have to be more mindful about what we put on our bodies. However, just because you turn 30 does not mean you can no longer wear sparkly shoes and just because you are short does not mean you cannot wear maxi dresses. It really is all about how you style your clothing that affects whether your choice is a good one or a bad one.
I will acknowledge that there are some “rules” that hold true for “certain groups.” For example, as a short girl, I acknowledge that too many bulky layers or oversized clothing will simply make me look smaller and borderline child-like. Not cute. But, the vast majority of these self-imposed “rules” are completely arbitrary. In my opinion, you are going to be the best judge of what looks good on you. However, the ability to view yourself objectively does not come easily or overnight. Fortunately, I have a few tips that might help you out:
Get Realistic
First and foremost, you have to decide you are going to be realistic about your body. Rather than trying to look younger or thinner, focus on dressing for the body you have now. Embrace it, love it, you can and will look great if you dress in a manner that flatters your body type and makes you feel good. Learn the lessons of good fit for your body type – clothes should not be super tight, shirt sleeves should hit right at the top of the hand. It will make it easier for you to recognize what looks good on you and what does not. A friend and I were out shopping this weekend. She is at least my parents’ age but we are right about the same size. We were discussing a style of dress and she said she could no longer wear that style because it made her look matronly and I responded that I could no longer wear that style because it made me look like I was in high school. We shared a laugh because it was quite funny how at two very different stages of life neither of us could wear a particular style because it made us look either too young or too old. However, both of us are very aware of our body shapes and we just accept ourselves, hips (or boobs) and all.
Seek and Receive Counsel
Next, you need to ensure you have people in your life who are willing to tell you when you do not look good. And, when this person (or those people) tell you that you do not look good, listen to them even though it hurts your feelings. We all make fashion mistakes. And, sometimes, we become so used to our style of dress that we forget to notice that maybe that our skirt is a little too short and maybe we do have to stop wearing that college t-shirt out of the house. Recently, I was in a meeting with a very senior level executive at my company. At the end of the meeting he stated that his mom purchased the suit he was wearing for him in the 1970s. He proudly told us that his wife had been begging him to get rid of it, but he was glad he could still fit it and he was determined to keep the suit. The rest of the executives indicated that they thought the suit was nice, noting the suit did not appear as if it was purchased in the 1970s. I stared around the room in shock, desperately attempting to control the look on my face. My very first thought when I saw the senior executive enter the room was “that suit looks like it’s from 1970.” As everyone else in the room commented on how nice the suit looked, I just thought to myself “you really need to listen to your wife.”
When in Doubt, Take a Picture
Finally, I highly encourage you take a break from mirrors and instead snap a picture of yourself. Mirrors lie, a photo never does. You may not realize that the Pepto Bismo leopard coat that looked so trendy in the magazine makes you look like a cartoon character. The mirror might hide the imperfections of that outfit, a photo will not. How many times have you looked back on an old photo and said “Is that what I looked like?” We have all had that moment and we will still have those moments, but we can minimize the frequency of them with photos. In the words of Cher from the movie Clueless “I don’t rely on mirrors so I always take Polaroids.” We have phones, let’s use them ladies.
Now, let’s say that you have done all of the above and you have come to the conclusion that your favorite style or piece of clothing is no longer appropriate or flattering on you. Well, it might be hard for you to simply toss the item, especially if it is one of those pieces that just makes you happy. Thus, I recommend trying one of two things.One, give it away to someone you think will really like it. Sometimes just knowing that another person wants one of your favorite pieces can bring satisfaction and make you gladly relinquish a cherished piece. However, this will not work in all situations. There may be times where you are not ready or willing to give an item away — usually due to sentimental reasons. Well, you cannot just allow it to sit in your closet; that is just bad fashion karma. Instead, find a way to re-purpose that item. If it is an old t-shirt, perhaps consider wearing it under a button down so that only part of that dingy t-shirt is revealed to the world.
So, the next time you see an article titled “10 things you shouldn’t wear now that you are [fill in your age range]” just skip right past it. Instead, keep the tips above in mind and just confidently wear the clothing you enjoy. Confidence looks good on everyone, no matter the age, size or gender.
My Style
Love at first sight. I originally spotted this faux fur jacket by BCBGMaxAzria in Lord and Taylor, but they did not have my size. So, I promptly began scouring the internet in the vane hope I might be able to find it. After discovering the jacket was from last season I was beginning to lose hope when I spotted it on the Saks Off Fifth website. I jumped on the chance to score this jacket and I could not be more happy. This coat does not look like faux fur – it looks completely real. I love the zipper across the chest and on the sleeves. It is comfortable and warm, the two most important factors for any cold weather gear. I paired the jacket with a chambray shirt I snagged from JCrew and my favorite body slimming black Madewell jeans. I finished the entire look off with my gold sequined pumps from Joan and David. Maybe my new favorite look…
